Tolerating Silence

In our reading today we were asked to examine a number of skills and techniques for running effective meetings, which ranged from encouraging discussion to good listening skills. One of the most glaring areas for improvement for me personally is the skill of tolerating silence. In conversations-- and in life-- I look to fill silences. A speaker came to a class of ours last week and acknowledged that as a Southerner, she had never met a silence she didn't fill. While I am certainly less effervescent than your standard southern belle, I feel that urge. As a teacher, I know this is dangerous for my students' learning. Also, this year as a student has illuminated what this looks like from the other side of the proverbial desk.

As many of my classmates pointed out, silence allows for a space in a classroom that invites deeper thinking on the part of everyone. If a teacher just calls on the first hand raised, or even cold calls someone in the back of the room, that is a missed opportunity. If they pause, and wait, ever student has to engage in the task knowing that it might be there thinking that is displayed to the class next. And for the eager hand thrusters, they have the chance to reflect on what they are actually going to say, consider revision in their minds, or the pause may even invite them to imagine NOT responding.

A particularly thoughtful table-mate wrote the following in his class notes while we were looking at this theme:

It is the silence between the notes that creates the music.

It is the space between the bars that holds the tiger.